Welcome back everyone to another episode of I Thrive at Life with Rick and Teresa Starr. Today we're diving into a topic that's close to everyone's heart, happiness and overall well being.
That's right, today we'll be exploring how much of your happiness is within your control. Is happiness something that you're born with, or is it something that you cultivate throughout your life?
It's that age old debate of nature versus nurture. Were you just born happy, or did your parents raise you to be a happy person? The answer might surprise you. We're going to break down the science, share some practical strategies, and even give you some activities to try that can boost your happiness.
So, let's start by talking about the two types of people we've all encountered in life.
The first type are those who seem to be optimistic and happy most of the time, no matter what life throws at them. They get the same sour lemons as everyone else, yet they somehow manage to make lemonade, right?
Absolutely. These people are amazing. They have challenges, they have bad days, and tough life circumstances, just like everyone else.
Yet they seem to weather the storms better. What's their secret? Is it just that they were born that way, or have they learned some really powerful strategies along the way?
And then there's the second type, the ones who always seem to be edgy, grumpy, or dissatisfied no matter how good things are going.
Even when something great happens, they might feel happy for a moment, but then they quickly slide back into negativity.
Exactly. And the big question here is, are they stuck in that mindset? And the answer according to science is actually very fascinating. Even though some people are born with a more optimistic inner core motivation, which is great for them, but No, they're not stuck in negativity if they tend to have a more negative explanatory style or a more negative personality.
You can actually teach yourself and practice skills to help you become more happy and more optimistic.
And of course these are broad generalizations and people can be anywhere across the spectrum between positivity and negativity on any given day.
Yeah. And certainly we are not minimizing the reality of depression.
Depression is a very real thing and that's what we're not, what we're talking about today. However, we just want to focus on the fact that there is a certain percentage of our wellbeing and our happiness that we can intentionally choose. And in this podcast episode, we're going to tell you how, and we're going to share some ways to build your happiness skills, even on bad days.
In her book, The How of Happiness, Sonya Lyubomirsky shares some groundbreaking research that really puts this into perspective. Studies indicate that about 50 percent of your happiness level is inherited. About 10 percent is determined by your circumstances. And a whopping 40 percent of your happiness and well being comes from your deliberate choices.
Isn't that amazing? Well, you can't change your genetics. And you can't always control your life circumstances, but you do have complete control over a whopping 40 percent of your happiness level. That means you can actively choose to be happier by making deliberate choices and most of all, by adopting lifestyle habits that set you up for higher levels of positivity.
Now, we're not saying you have to go around and be happy all the time. That's not the point. But the point is, if you do want to feel a little bit more positivity in your daily life, or to help you get through hard times, here are some tools and strategies that can help you. It's kind of like Dale Carnegie said, um, happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions.
It depends on our inner conditions, both in here and in here, and those are the things we can control 40 percent of.
So let's talk about that 40%. What can we do with it? How can we optimize what we do have control over? Fortunately, there are plenty of evidence based strategies that can help.
So today we're going to share eight habits that can make a significant difference in your daily level of happiness and overall well being.
We're going to go through them and share some super simple daily activities that you can do to help you get started. So first of all, mindfulness. You may have heard of it. It's quite the buzzword now. But mindfulness medication can make a big difference. Just spending five minutes, even today, sitting quietly and focusing on your breath as you inhale and exhale, even noticing your thoughts, without judging your thoughts, just noticing them.
You might even set a timer and try to do it every day for a week. Reflect on how it makes you feel afterwards. Even taking time for prayer or just pondering or listening to powerful music that kind of puts you in a little bit more of a meditative or contemplative state.
Excellent. Next is gratitude journaling.
Each night before bed, write down three things you're grateful for. They don't have to be big things, just anything that brought a smile to your face or made your day a little brighter. Try doing this for a week and see how it shifts your mood.
And the thing about journaling, it too is a type of mindfulness or contemplative practice that helps reset your mood.
Very, very powerful. Absolutely. All right. So the next tool is social connections. Just reaching out to a friend or a family member that you haven't spoken with for a while, set up a time to catch up, whether it's over lunch, on the phone, or even on a video chat, just notice how reconnecting with others affects your happiness.
Okay, so I have a story of an experience that happened to me. Um, Rick was across the ocean in another country for work. And I was home by myself. I even, I didn't have any kids here either. They were all elsewhere. And I really don't like being alone at night. So I thought, well, I'm gonna just go to bed early.
I'll go to sleep. And then I'll wake up and it'll be morning. And I'll get busy with the day. So I went to bed, say about 10 o'clock. And then I had a nightmare, so I woke up and I thought, okay, I hope it's morning so I can just get up and start my day and it was 12 30 at night and I thought, Oh no, it's 12 30 at night.
I've got to go through the whole night and that nightmare kind of freaked me out. So I called Rick. Well, there was nothing he could do from across far away in the other side of the world. And I thought, yeah, I just need to do something to, you know, kind of give me a lift here. And I remember that I had a friend that loved to stay up late.
In fact, she would, she was quite the night owl. And so I texted her and said, are you awake? She said, yes. I said, Oh, can we chat for a minute? I'm, I just, I just woke up with a bad dream. I just need someone to talk to. And she said, better yet, I'll come over. And she came over. And we sat down and watched a movie together and laughed.
It was a chick flick and we just had a really good time. Instantly when she walked in the door, I just felt fine. And so it's really amazing and powerful how our relationships and our social connections can make a big difference for us. So it's a really powerful tool for. Being happy or having more positive emotion.
Yeah, it's really important to have friends that you can turn to to talk whenever you need to So next number four is acts of kindness try performing a random act of kindness today it could be as simple as holding the door open for someone or paying for the groceries of the person behind you or Leaving a kind note for a co worker Observe the impact it has on your mood.
And you know, you think about how good it makes you feel when somebody does something nice for you, and then if you can return that to someone else, what's great about it is you make them feel better, but you also uplift your own mood as well. That's right,
just by paying it forward. Yep. It's awesome.
Alright, so number five is eating healthy. I know we all love our treats and everything, but, you know, sometimes that sugar kicks us up and then it drops us down. So if you can choose to have just one meal a day where you're mindfully eating, and, you know, Enjoying healthy foods, healthy fruits and vegetables and whole grains, legumes, foods that really nourish you.
So just take time to eat. Notice how your body feels afterwards when you've really given it a good healthy meal.
Excellent. The next one, number six, is to enjoy some physical activity. Take a 30 minute walk outside or do something that you enjoy that's a physical activity. Pay attention to the sights and the sounds and the smells around you.
If you enjoy a particular type of exercise, make time for it this week and notice how it affects your energy and your mood.
All those endorphins kick in and you just, it really does uplift you. All right, so idea number seven is to get adequate quality sleep. So establishing a bedtime routine is super important.
It helps if you turn off your screens at least 30 minutes before bedtime. You can read a book or just listen to calming music, but get those screens off, get that light kind of messes with your circadian rhythm. So reading a book is much, much better than reading something online on the internet. And you want to aim to get seven to nine hours of sleep and then observe how it makes you feel the next day.
And I think it's that mindful awareness of how it makes you feel the next day that will be motivating to help you go to bed early again the next night. So maybe even documenting it, writing down, Hey, I got seven or eight hours of sleep and I feel so much more energized today. By writing that down, it will help you keep up the momentum.
Excellent suggestion. And our eighth and final suggestion is to engage in a religious or spiritual practice. Spend a few minutes a day in prayer or meditation or reflecting on a spiritual text that's meaningful to you. Notice how it impacts your sense of peace and connection. Speaking of spiritual practices, let's delve a little deeper into this.
Research shows that engaging in religious or spiritual practices can have significant positive effects on mental and emotional well being.
And practices like prayer, meditation, and being part of a faith based community can lower your stress, enhance resilience, and bring about positive emotions like gratitude, forgiveness, connection, and inner peace in knowing that you're not alone.
Who you are, your infinite worth, and that your life has meaning and purpose.
So there you have it, folks. While 50 percent of your happiness might be inherited and 10 percent determined by your circumstances, studies show that a full 40 percent is completely up to you. You can choose to cultivate happiness in your life.
That's right. The ball is in your court. You can start small. Just choose one habit every day and actively implement it into your week. And then each week build upon that. Remember, happiness is an inside job, and you have got what it takes to thrive.
Thank you for joining us on this episode of I Thrive at Life.
We hope you found these insights and activities helpful. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who could use a little more happiness in their life.
Until next time, keep on thriving, and remember,
You've got this. Have a great day.
That's right, today we'll be exploring how much of your happiness is within your control. Is happiness something that you're born with, or is it something that you cultivate throughout your life?
It's that age old debate of nature versus nurture. Were you just born happy, or did your parents raise you to be a happy person? The answer might surprise you. We're going to break down the science, share some practical strategies, and even give you some activities to try that can boost your happiness.
So, let's start by talking about the two types of people we've all encountered in life.
The first type are those who seem to be optimistic and happy most of the time, no matter what life throws at them. They get the same sour lemons as everyone else, yet they somehow manage to make lemonade, right?
Absolutely. These people are amazing. They have challenges, they have bad days, and tough life circumstances, just like everyone else.
Yet they seem to weather the storms better. What's their secret? Is it just that they were born that way, or have they learned some really powerful strategies along the way?
And then there's the second type, the ones who always seem to be edgy, grumpy, or dissatisfied no matter how good things are going.
Even when something great happens, they might feel happy for a moment, but then they quickly slide back into negativity.
Exactly. And the big question here is, are they stuck in that mindset? And the answer according to science is actually very fascinating. Even though some people are born with a more optimistic inner core motivation, which is great for them, but No, they're not stuck in negativity if they tend to have a more negative explanatory style or a more negative personality.
You can actually teach yourself and practice skills to help you become more happy and more optimistic.
And of course these are broad generalizations and people can be anywhere across the spectrum between positivity and negativity on any given day.
Yeah. And certainly we are not minimizing the reality of depression.
Depression is a very real thing and that's what we're not, what we're talking about today. However, we just want to focus on the fact that there is a certain percentage of our wellbeing and our happiness that we can intentionally choose. And in this podcast episode, we're going to tell you how, and we're going to share some ways to build your happiness skills, even on bad days.
In her book, The How of Happiness, Sonya Lyubomirsky shares some groundbreaking research that really puts this into perspective. Studies indicate that about 50 percent of your happiness level is inherited. About 10 percent is determined by your circumstances. And a whopping 40 percent of your happiness and well being comes from your deliberate choices.
Isn't that amazing? Well, you can't change your genetics. And you can't always control your life circumstances, but you do have complete control over a whopping 40 percent of your happiness level. That means you can actively choose to be happier by making deliberate choices and most of all, by adopting lifestyle habits that set you up for higher levels of positivity.
Now, we're not saying you have to go around and be happy all the time. That's not the point. But the point is, if you do want to feel a little bit more positivity in your daily life, or to help you get through hard times, here are some tools and strategies that can help you. It's kind of like Dale Carnegie said, um, happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions.
It depends on our inner conditions, both in here and in here, and those are the things we can control 40 percent of.
So let's talk about that 40%. What can we do with it? How can we optimize what we do have control over? Fortunately, there are plenty of evidence based strategies that can help.
So today we're going to share eight habits that can make a significant difference in your daily level of happiness and overall well being.
We're going to go through them and share some super simple daily activities that you can do to help you get started. So first of all, mindfulness. You may have heard of it. It's quite the buzzword now. But mindfulness medication can make a big difference. Just spending five minutes, even today, sitting quietly and focusing on your breath as you inhale and exhale, even noticing your thoughts, without judging your thoughts, just noticing them.
You might even set a timer and try to do it every day for a week. Reflect on how it makes you feel afterwards. Even taking time for prayer or just pondering or listening to powerful music that kind of puts you in a little bit more of a meditative or contemplative state.
Excellent. Next is gratitude journaling.
Each night before bed, write down three things you're grateful for. They don't have to be big things, just anything that brought a smile to your face or made your day a little brighter. Try doing this for a week and see how it shifts your mood.
And the thing about journaling, it too is a type of mindfulness or contemplative practice that helps reset your mood.
Very, very powerful. Absolutely. All right. So the next tool is social connections. Just reaching out to a friend or a family member that you haven't spoken with for a while, set up a time to catch up, whether it's over lunch, on the phone, or even on a video chat, just notice how reconnecting with others affects your happiness.
Okay, so I have a story of an experience that happened to me. Um, Rick was across the ocean in another country for work. And I was home by myself. I even, I didn't have any kids here either. They were all elsewhere. And I really don't like being alone at night. So I thought, well, I'm gonna just go to bed early.
I'll go to sleep. And then I'll wake up and it'll be morning. And I'll get busy with the day. So I went to bed, say about 10 o'clock. And then I had a nightmare, so I woke up and I thought, okay, I hope it's morning so I can just get up and start my day and it was 12 30 at night and I thought, Oh no, it's 12 30 at night.
I've got to go through the whole night and that nightmare kind of freaked me out. So I called Rick. Well, there was nothing he could do from across far away in the other side of the world. And I thought, yeah, I just need to do something to, you know, kind of give me a lift here. And I remember that I had a friend that loved to stay up late.
In fact, she would, she was quite the night owl. And so I texted her and said, are you awake? She said, yes. I said, Oh, can we chat for a minute? I'm, I just, I just woke up with a bad dream. I just need someone to talk to. And she said, better yet, I'll come over. And she came over. And we sat down and watched a movie together and laughed.
It was a chick flick and we just had a really good time. Instantly when she walked in the door, I just felt fine. And so it's really amazing and powerful how our relationships and our social connections can make a big difference for us. So it's a really powerful tool for. Being happy or having more positive emotion.
Yeah, it's really important to have friends that you can turn to to talk whenever you need to So next number four is acts of kindness try performing a random act of kindness today it could be as simple as holding the door open for someone or paying for the groceries of the person behind you or Leaving a kind note for a co worker Observe the impact it has on your mood.
And you know, you think about how good it makes you feel when somebody does something nice for you, and then if you can return that to someone else, what's great about it is you make them feel better, but you also uplift your own mood as well. That's right,
just by paying it forward. Yep. It's awesome.
Alright, so number five is eating healthy. I know we all love our treats and everything, but, you know, sometimes that sugar kicks us up and then it drops us down. So if you can choose to have just one meal a day where you're mindfully eating, and, you know, Enjoying healthy foods, healthy fruits and vegetables and whole grains, legumes, foods that really nourish you.
So just take time to eat. Notice how your body feels afterwards when you've really given it a good healthy meal.
Excellent. The next one, number six, is to enjoy some physical activity. Take a 30 minute walk outside or do something that you enjoy that's a physical activity. Pay attention to the sights and the sounds and the smells around you.
If you enjoy a particular type of exercise, make time for it this week and notice how it affects your energy and your mood.
All those endorphins kick in and you just, it really does uplift you. All right, so idea number seven is to get adequate quality sleep. So establishing a bedtime routine is super important.
It helps if you turn off your screens at least 30 minutes before bedtime. You can read a book or just listen to calming music, but get those screens off, get that light kind of messes with your circadian rhythm. So reading a book is much, much better than reading something online on the internet. And you want to aim to get seven to nine hours of sleep and then observe how it makes you feel the next day.
And I think it's that mindful awareness of how it makes you feel the next day that will be motivating to help you go to bed early again the next night. So maybe even documenting it, writing down, Hey, I got seven or eight hours of sleep and I feel so much more energized today. By writing that down, it will help you keep up the momentum.
Excellent suggestion. And our eighth and final suggestion is to engage in a religious or spiritual practice. Spend a few minutes a day in prayer or meditation or reflecting on a spiritual text that's meaningful to you. Notice how it impacts your sense of peace and connection. Speaking of spiritual practices, let's delve a little deeper into this.
Research shows that engaging in religious or spiritual practices can have significant positive effects on mental and emotional well being.
And practices like prayer, meditation, and being part of a faith based community can lower your stress, enhance resilience, and bring about positive emotions like gratitude, forgiveness, connection, and inner peace in knowing that you're not alone.
Who you are, your infinite worth, and that your life has meaning and purpose.
So there you have it, folks. While 50 percent of your happiness might be inherited and 10 percent determined by your circumstances, studies show that a full 40 percent is completely up to you. You can choose to cultivate happiness in your life.
That's right. The ball is in your court. You can start small. Just choose one habit every day and actively implement it into your week. And then each week build upon that. Remember, happiness is an inside job, and you have got what it takes to thrive.
Thank you for joining us on this episode of I Thrive at Life.
We hope you found these insights and activities helpful. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who could use a little more happiness in their life.
Until next time, keep on thriving, and remember,
You've got this. Have a great day.